Who am I?

I’m Estonian. My roots are from South Estonia.

My grandmother Lonni lived near small village, among thick forests, far from other farmhouses. I still remember how she spoke weird local South Estonian dialect misunderstandable to North Estonians.

She was short and plump, with healthy pink cheeks. Her life had not been easy. She had to overcome many harsh experiences. Despite of that, my grandma maintained a sense of humour and a positive attitude towards life.

She did not attend to yoga classes neither meditate knowingly, but it seemed to me – she knew secret of life and got a wisdom to understand deep knowledge of Mother Nature.

She ate simple food, fed her animals three times a day, took care of beehives, ploughed land, harvested forest, etc.
Having flu like symptoms, she took a sip of ether and the illness was gone. As much as i know, she never visited doctors.

When Lonni left us, suddenly all beehives became empty. The bees left us, too.

Was it coincidence or magic?

We don’t know.

Our world is mysterious. Have you ever thought that isn’t it magical that tall tree was once a small seed? Or that, something what is called “egg” can transform to a chicken or crocodile? Isn’t that amazing that mother gives birth to a child? Leaf that falls from the tree will become a soil? Life is full of miracles.

Though veiled in secrecy, the universe has its own structure, equilibrium and energy.

To me it seems, that mandalas are like an attempt to depict the model of universe. Drawing the mandalas is like a meditation – disconnection from “when” and “where” and connection to ancestors and offspring at the same time.

What am I doing?

I draw with acryl-colours and paint-brushes. I do not use pens or pencils. Sometimes it is quite challenging to make these thin lines straight and with same thickness. I have to paint them many times over before they seem enough good to me. Even breathing rhythm is important here to get a better result. Still, i never get a perfect line. Somehow, i like imperfection, because it is beautiful. As far as it has done by hand and came from heart.

How am I doing?

I start mandala drawing from the center. First, i find a central point and this will be marked by a small dot. Let’s say, it’s like a seed, which is a beginning of all material and immaterial essence.

Everything that comes after central point marking – colors, shapes, pattern – is unknown and will emerge from the flow of the moment. Sometimes, symbols come to my mind easily. Sometimes they want me to wait and search for them. This is the beauty of the game.